Today I Saw You

I’ve known you for so many years.

I’ve looked at you so many times,

but today I saw you.

You’ve loved me for all of this time,

at first a boyish crush.

I didn’t pay attention then,

but today I saw you.

I know I did the right thing.

So far away in age and distance,

but today I saw nothing but you.

You stood by my side.

You were my greatest friend.

It took me too long to see you.

I smothered my feelings in silence.

I sat inside of my pain.

You saw me.

I finally gave up my guard.

I gave in, and looked in your eyes.

Then you pushed me away.

I feel the greatest pain.

I feel disillusion and betrayed.

But today I saw you.

I see you every day.

The haunting of memories.

I will never not see you again.

(This is not a poetry blog. I have not written in this blog for a very long time. I do not care if this poem rhymes. Today I realized I wrote this blog for myself as much as wrote for the few people who will ever see it. It has never been my goal to write about myself but today it comes through because it has to and I am  not sorry.)




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