So, you are considering dating someone who works out of state, works in the military or on the railroad? Or maybe you are already dating one, or even married to one and are wondering if you should continue that relationship or not? To answer the question you need to figure out which combination of these people you are; a Passive, an Aggressive, an Independent, a Companionist.
Now, honestly most people won’t fit completely in any one category but you can get a good idea of if this man is right for you by finding out which categories you fit in the most.
You may be a Passive if:
- You get pushed by someone and do not push back.
- You don’t mind if another person makes most of the decisions around you.
- You don’t care what you eat or what you do for fun.
- You can live anywhere and be happy.
- You go with the flow and it doesn’t bother you.
- You agree mostly with laws, rules and decisions people in authority make.
- You are quiet, meek, soft spoken, easily afraid of things.
Category B- Aggressives
You may be an Aggressive if:
- You get pushed by someone and you push back.
- You want to make most of the decisions around you or want to be a apart of the planning process.
- You want to decide what’s for dinner and plan out vacations and fun time.
- You have a particular idea of where you want to live, do not like to move around a lot, like things to stay the way you like them.
- You don’t let others persuade you to do anything you do want to do or don’t like.
- You challenge laws, rules, and decisions others make, and/or question authority.
- You are outspoken, not easily intimidated, fearless.
Category C- Independents
You may be an Independent if:
- You don’t need to be around other people to be happy, you like being alone most of the time.
- You would prefer to listen to music on your headphones, read books, or go take a nap rather than chit chat with others or join in on social events, even family ones.
- You juggle work, school, pay all the bills, never ask anyone for help, even when it would be helpful to do so.
- You feel like help is charity and it makes you feel bad to accept it so you don’t.
- You have your own business or aspire to have your own business where you are sole proprietor or you strive to be manager or leader of your employer’s business.
- If your car gets a flat, you are calm and collected, and fix your own flat tire.
- When you make a decision you do not consider anyone else in the decision and do not ask anyone else what they think or feel about it.
Category D- Companionist
You may be a Companionist if:
- You would rather be with friends and family most of the time.
- You prefer to chit chat, talk on the phone, and play games with others and engage in social and family events.
- You have trouble figuring out what to do with yourself, you feel scared to do too much without others, you ask others to help you with things.
- You have no issue accepting charity or help because you know you need it and don’t reject assistance.
- You want to work for others, or have a family or partner based business.
- If you get a flat tire you freak out, don’t know what to do, call your besty, your mom, your mechanic etc for help and feel like the world has come to an end.
- When you make a decision you consider it carefully and consider everyone who could be possibly involved or effected, you call up your besty to ask what she/he thinks about it, you include others in the decision.
So add up how many of each example best fits you in each category. My guess is most of you will fit into two of the categories almost equally; Passive-Independent and Aggressive- Companionist. This may at first seem strange, shouldn’t the passive be also the Companionist and shouldn’t the Aggressive be also the Independent? Of course you can be as well, but I think you will find my guess to be accurate most of the time.
So who is and is not compatible with a man who works out of state/in the military/for the railroad?
If you fell into Passives, you are a good match for a man with one of these jobs because you are already the type of person who is willing to do whatever your man wants you to do. If he wants to move for his job, you’ll probably come with. You probably won’t argue over much with him and he will like that since he’s gone most of the time and wants things to be his way because of his job choice. You will likely adjust to any situation arising from his job.If he says “I want to leave for four weeks to train on a mini gun.” You’ll say “Ok.”
If you fell under Aggressives, you are NOT a good match for a man with one of these jobs. You are probably not going to do whatever he wants or needs you to do to put up with his career choice. You are probably not going to tolerate him making all the decisions which he will basically do because life will be all about his career choice. By default you will be unable to work with him in the long run because his career will always be more important to him than what you want to do with life. This will likely cause a serious clash.
If you fell under the Independents category then it’s ify. On the one hand, you could do well since you aren’t going to be sad if he is gone as much as you might if you weren’t so ok with being by yourself. You’re very capable and happy to deal with things while he’s gone and not need him a lot. On the other hand if you are too self centered, you may clash if you simply don’t really care that much if he’s home or not. Some guys who work these jobs are great family men while most frankly are not. So this one is up to you to think about.
If you fell under the Companionist category you are not a good match for a man like this unless he is a solid family man when he is home and IF when he makes decisions about his career he consults first with you which is unlikely and rare, but possible. For the most part though he will be gone most of the time. When he is home he will likely find excuses to sleep or be gone more. He may also spend more time with friends and others than you and that won’t work for you. He will probably expect you to be independent but this doesn’t work for a Companionist. He will likely not be available for holidays, family events, children’s’ concerts, dances, games, recitals etc. A Companionist wants someone who is there with them at these events as much as possible.
If you fall into a combination of categories take the time to decide the consequences of the outcome of your personal combo. Remember in general these men will have no time for you or children, will likely not want a woman who has her own ideas and goals for the future unless those are his goals and ideas as well. He will probably miss most family and social events. If this is ok with you, then go for it, if it is not, say no.